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Gone are the days where threats were obvious. Most things we termed “dangerous” were things we could see.
But in this modern society, the nastiest of things are the ones we cannot see.
And if you can only spot obvious threats, you’ll be a slave in this modern world.
I see a world where we’re quick to attack women with obvious makeup and dress styles, yet everyday we keep living as slaves to humans with personality trait makeups.
And it is alarming how many people are oblivious of this problem.
What’s a Personality Trait Makeup?
Have you noticed how women in some cultures get called names, ridiculed and sometimes hated because they wear make up?
This is because many people think they look fake on make up. We feel they are supposed to come out looking real.
If they use makeup at all, it should be light make up.
I don’t even like heavy make-up on a woman’s face.
But what baffles me is that we have another kind of make up in our world today that we mostly ignore and sometimes even celebrate.
It is what I call the personality trait make up – where someone mimics a behavior or way of life just to blend in.
Sometimes it is used as a cover to mask who they really are.
They observe what society values. They observe acceptable behaviors, learn them, and act it out to cover up who they really are.
How does it work?
Everyone wants to be valued. I have a post coming up on this. (It may already be up depending on when you’re reading this.)
We all want to be valued. So we tend to do things that make us valuable.
But some of us have a stronger need to be valued than others.
Different factors cause this for different individuals.
It could be childhood experiences, DNA, etc. It could be anything.
Causes differ and as such, people will also have different reasons for craving value.
Consequently, we do things we think will make other people value us.
Some of us do these things so others can love us, some do it so we can get respect, some do it so they can be accepted.
The problem isn’t doing what is good.
The big problem here is having inherently bad traits or life problems we should deal with, but we shy away from working on it and spend more time mimicking behavioral traits that will make people see us how we want them to.
This is where my personality trait makeup thing comes from. People mimic behaviors for different reasons.
I’ve seen people become philanthropists (sometimes just to blend it). But at home they are tyrants to their wives and children.
I’ve seen people with extreme humility just so we’ll see them as good people. (I did this once but I’ve grown out of that BS).
There is the advanced version where they treat you just as well as the next person. Meaning, if you don’t have any other person treating you better than them, they continue insulting and abusing you.
But once someone shows up who is doing better than them, they mimic the goodness just to remain relevant.
I can go on and on about this but I know we get what is going on.
Mimicking Traits Instead Of Changing
The problem I have with people mimicking behavior is that it is more about pretense. People are pretending.
Another problem with it is that it is also a manipulative tactic. People mimic behaviors to manipulate shallow people and keep them from seeing who they really are.
This is why they treat you well when someone else doing better is in the picture, but when there’s no one to give you a better treatment, they treat you badly and claim that’s how it is supposed to be or that it is your fault.
Or that’s how it is everywhere.
So why mimic these good traits when someone else is proving to you that it is possible? They do it just to remain favored and in control.
The way I see it, people should take necessary steps to become better individuals instead of mimicking good behavior only when something they have is threatened.
It Is Happening Everywhere
People will mimic personality traits anywhere.
Even if it means becoming a clergy, they’ll do it. If it means knowing all the bible portions, they’ll do it.
Some people have photographic memories. So they know what they know not because of who they are, not because they want to be good people, but because they have a good brain.
So they can release a podcast of good ideas without believing in any of them.
We see politicians visiting hospitals just to win an election.
We’ve seen young boys join Churches just to get a girl to sleep with them.
We’ve seen abusers at home fighting abuse outside so they can be seen as good people in the society.
These people are so subtle that it has become difficult to tell good people from bad in our world today.
How Do You Know When Someone is Using a Personality Trait Makeup
There are a few things that will help you spot manipulative individuals.
1) The Holy Spirit and The Word
He alone knows the true heart of a man. He knows their past, the present and what they’ll become in the future.
If the connection is good for you, He’ll let you know. He’ll also tell you how to deal with such people and when you have to leave.
The Bible also exposes behavior that will end in destruction. The book of proverbs is filled with wisdom about human behavior and what to do when you find them.
2) Exposure and Knowledge
How can you know what is good when you have only known what is bad?
Because you’ve only known evil, you’ll accept it as the normal, until you realize good is possible.
In my article about knowledge I talked about the dangers of a single story, something I learned from the famous African writer, Ngozi Adichie.
The danger in knowing a “single story” is that it shapes what you know and believe. All you know and accept comes from what you’re exposed to.
So if all you’ve ever been exposed to is mediocrity, it’s hard for you to believe respect is possible.
This is why you have to learn and be exposed. Manipulators want to subtly cage you and keep you from learning.
Sometimes they make it look like they’re protecting you or looking out for you. Big lie. It’s more about control than it is about protection.
Because they know once you experience other people – how they love you, respect you, obey you, give you freedom, etc, that will give you a true taste of real goodness and you’ll see them for who they really are.
Apart from partners and employees doing this, parents are also getting it wrong in their own way.
Many parents have trained their children into a life, a marriage, or job as bad as theirs. Most children will accept it because they don’t know they have something 10 times better than what their parents had.
Exposure will let you know what is right, what to settle for, and what to discard immediately. Don’t be a victim of “that is how it is everywhere.”
There are people having it 10 times better. But you can only know through learning.
Know about the 5 personality traits: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Narcissism.
Learn about Narcissism, gaslighting, and emotional abuse. Learn about how people may decide to deflect faults and shift blame instead of taking responsibility and apologizing.
Learn about how people use ether, how they use your own anger or emotion against you.
Learn about how people use music, perfumes, stories, tears, to control/weaken our decision making abilities and take advantage of us or manipulate us.
So many people have messed up their lives because a man uses cologne.
Knowledge and exposure will show you what’s possible and how to get it so you don’t settle for less.
The modern day slave is not the one with fetters on the hands and legs, it’s the one with a shallow mind.
3) Time will tell
Even with so much knowledge, some people are so good with mimicking traits that you can hardly tell who they truly are.
But as they say, “time will tell.”
Allow them for some months or years and you’ll see their true self come out.
This won’t be easy. Because humanity is complex, it can be hard to tell if they’re using a personality trait makeup
This is because no one is perfect. But there’s always a slight difference between sincere people and those who are using a personality trait.
No one’s perfect. But the good ones change.
They don’t try to shove insults down your throat and claim it was your fault.
The good ones take responsibility for the bad things they do.
They are not quick to point out other people’s mistakes. Manipulators are quick to point out faults in other people and claim it is an innocent observation.
They are quick to point out other people doing wrong so it can look like they are not so bad afterall.
It is a deep way of controlling how people see you without actually looking like that’s what you’re doing.
I’m also planning to drop an article on how people can control how you see them and how you think, without actively telling you to do so.
They do this by controlling your environment, complemented with some other subtle behaviors.
I have talked about this in another article titled “Don’t fall for the storyteller.” I will dedicate an entire article to it so I can cover it in depth.
Give people some time and they will show you who they really are.
Is There Anyone Who Doesn’t Act Things Out?
A manipulator will argue that at some point we all pretend.
No one keeps it at 100% all the time.
True, but that’s not what we are talking about here.
We are talking about mimicking traits in society (by giving, doing community work) and in a religious setting (by praying, dancing) just to cover up or distract people from your crazy part instead of changing.
It’s funny because if manipulators mimic traits long enough, the very people they’re manipulating will be the ones to start making excuses for these manipulators.
Final Word
We need a world where people are aware of what is going on.
This personality trait makeup post is not to get you to hate those who do it.
I wrote it so we can break free from manipulative lifestyles we have surrendered to due to ignorance.
And don’t be quick to judge. Don’t be quick to label someone a narcissist or manipulative.
But more often than not, if you know what to look for, you’ll be right about someone wearing personality type makeup.
