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After episode 2 of Just Us Girls 3 was released, I found an interesting comment with an interesting replies.
But some people want to think Tomiwa is being real. So let’s talk about it.
Is Tomiwa being real? What do you think?
Here’s my take.
Tomiwa is “real” in some ways. But not in the way some people make him out to be.
One of the realest people on this show is OnaJite — what she does may not be good but she’s up there when it comes to autheticity.
See, being charismatic/confident and being real are two different things.
But I don’t blame anyone who gets fooled.
I’ve noticed that in times when we struggle with self-esteem, you could be easily fooled by someone charismatic and outgoing.
Remember episode 1? Tomiwa looked his fiancee in the eye and lied about his affair with the celebrity.
The day after his introduction he was having it hot with that same girl and you call this being real.
If he were real he would have told Kayin, “since you don’t want to give me sex, others are willing.” But he didn’t, he lied to her. See, when they’re caught it’s “being real”. How about when they’re not?
A leopard can’t change it’s skin (unless he puts in the work). Don’t let them fool you with “I’m being real.”
When people tell you, you’re wrong, just change. No one is perfect. Being real is not a license to be a pain in someone’s life. Being real is not license to be a fool.
When people tell you, you’re wrong, just change. No one is perfect. “I’m being real” is not a license to be a pain in someone else’s life.
He’s already spending millions for sex. This is a taste of what is to come.
Believe it or not, when you tell him you want to fast, he’ll be having sex while you’re fasting cuz he can’t stay. When the wife gets pregnant he’ll do the same. Oh, and when Kayin is not hanging on the fan for him, he will still sleep outside, because he has already set up a level for himself from these affairs.
We’re all going to excuse perversion and lies because we want to believe the person is being real.
Sorry but charismatic and confident people are the best liars. Being real is different from being charismatic and confident.
This is why it’s so hard to point out a liar to people these days. Because everyone is just fooled by charisma and confidence. We call it being real.
This is life. It’s no joke. It’s complex. Read between the lines.
What The Better Way?
As a person, if you can clearly point out a short coming to me with clear explanations, I take steps to change.
And if you know me you’ll see me slowly stepping away from those things you pointed out.
That’s what being real is.
But you point out things to someone yet they continue in it for years and call it “being real”.
For me that’s far from being real. That’s clear immaturity.
The problem is that many times we confuse career success with maturity.
We confuse confidence and charisma with maturity.
Though they should be found together, that may not always be the case.
We use being real as an excuse…
We use being real as an excuse for falsehood!
We use being real as an excuse for craziness.
We use it as an excuse to do exactly what God clearly has commanded us not to do.
No. Being real is not an excuse for abuse, insults, and messing with some other person’s mental health.
We should read situations, and understand what to say or do to avoid being damaging. “Being real” is not an excuse.
For Example Fornication
Like in the case of Tomiwa and Kayin, Tomiwa is already laying the foundation for adultery.
It’s clear that when he can’t have it or can’t have it how he wants it, he’s going to get it elsewhere.
This is what God wants us to avoid when He commands us to stay away from fornication.
When you fornicate you gain experiences and standards about sex that you shouldn’t have.
On the other hand, two virgins marrying will always be satisfied with themselves because they don’t have sex standards to live up to.
Whatever they learn and do, they will always do it together.
But you see the Tomiwa’s, they will have it when you’re fasting, in labor, tired, traveling, etc.
He has laid the foundation for it.
And the worst kind of combination is libido and drinking.
Once it comes to mind, the drinking will remove every form of self-control you would have had, and you’re gonna have it wherever however you want it.
Many things people stay away from is not just about sin, it’s for our own good.
We can’t do whatever we want and think that there are no consequences. You can’t eat your cake and have it.
This is life. That’s how God created this world. This is true whether you know God or don’t.
Believe me, this truth is not to make anyone feel bad.
It’s just the truth. I’m telling it so we can avoid these things.
We have suffered too long for lack of knowledge. We don’t have to pass it on.
This is why the best thing for any man is to know and to fear God.
Anything outside that is damage control.
Christ is The Greatest Gift
The only thing that keeps most of us from sin is God. Nothing else. Not even maturity.
We are human, we have moments where we crave unspeakable things.
But the fear of God holds us back.
But those who don’t fear God will go ahead to do it and call it “being real.”
So we all need to share Christ and hope our loved ones listen to the call.
