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One of the hallmarks of narcissistic relationships and behavior is toxicity. When I say toxicity, I mean the abuse, insults, the blame shifting, and all the tiny little things that make the relationship exhausting.
But narcissists live in constant fear that one day the victim or the person enduring the abuses and insults will someday find someone or something better.
Because of this, they inherently have a life of trying to destroy, put down or discredit anything or anybody that would offer the “victim” a better life or a better view of things.
They know with such people around, the victim would see them for who they are. Narcissists always try to paint the picture of “it’s the same everywhere,” instead of working to get better.
We know that whenever people see anything better they’ll go for it.
So the first step the narcissist takes is to make friends with them. They know people tend to believe you’re fine if someone else we see as good is friends with you.
These people are quick to call others friends. It’s a way to mask who they really are.
For example, you may see a thief very quick to call a straight person friend. You may see a womanizer quick to call someone who doesn’t go out with many girls a friend.
This is to make people feel that if they are friends with a straight person, they might also be good too.
But if they can’t be close to this other person who has brought in something better, they’ll look for every opportunity to bring up something bad about this person, always disguising it as something they learned by chance.
It hardly is. It’s always an attempt to discredit everyone and tag everybody as evil so the victim won’t think they can have a better life away from them.
This trick also forces the victim to isolate from others because “everyone is the same” and stick with the narcissist despite their toxicity.
Why Then is The Narcissist So Helpful
Looking at what I’ve written above, you’d think it should be easy to post this kind of person and kick them out of your life.
But that’s never the case. Narcissists can be very helpful to the people they are also abusing. This makes it difficult for the victim of the insults and abuse to make a good decision about them.
While being very helpful, they’ll also do what they can underneath the surface to discredit anyone who would want to share that space with them in any way.
They bring up gossip, make innuendos, to put other good people in a bad light. They do this so you don’t suspect they have an agenda against the other.
It’s also a proper attempt to make the victim less trusting of others and to continue to rely on them alone.
This is why it’s often so hard for people to leave abusive relationships. The system around them is one that forces them to want to depend on the abuser always.
Major Effects of Being in a Toxic Relationship: Why You Should Get Out Now
It’s alarming how many people think, “Oh, I can cope with it.” “It’s not that bad.”
This is because we don’t realize the effects of toxic patterns on our mental health. Mental health is not something we can see or touch so most people tend to overlook it.
As long as we still look good and go about our everyday activities, it should be fine. No, it isn’t.
Continuous insults, abuse, criticism or belittling can erode your confidence and make you doubt your worth.
Toxic relationships can profoundly affect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
While every relationship has its challenges, toxic dynamics will have lots of side effects you may not even notice. Recognizing the effects of a toxic relationship is the first step toward breaking free and reclaiming your health and happiness.
1. Emotional and Mental Health Issues
Toxic relationships often involve manipulation, criticism, and emotional neglect. Over time, these behaviors can take a severe toll on your mental health. Common emotional and mental health effects include:
- Low Self-Esteem: Continuous insults, abuse, criticism or belittling can erode your confidence and make you doubt your worth. Many have lost sense of what their true worth is. And when they succeed in bringing you to their level, they confuse you by telling you you’re being humble.
- Anxiety and Depression: Constant tension, unpredictability, and verbal or emotional abuse can lead to chronic stress, which may manifest as anxiety or depression. It’s one of the reasons people in toxic relationships can’t read. They can’t engage in critical thoughts for long.
- Emotional Exhaustion: The ongoing emotional labor of trying to fix or maintain a toxic relationship can leave you feeling drained and depleted.
2. Physical Health Problems
The stress of a toxic relationship doesn’t just stay in your mind—it can manifest physically as well. Stress hormones like cortisol, released in response to unhealthy interactions, can lead to:
- Fatigue: Persistent emotional turmoil can leave you constantly tired, even if you’ve had enough rest.
- Chronic Illness: Stress weakens the immune system, making you more susceptible to illnesses such as colds, headaches, and digestive issues.
- Heart Problems: Long-term stress increases the risk of high blood pressure and other cardiovascular issues.
3. Social Isolation
Toxic partners often use control tactics, such as isolating you from friends and family. This can lead to:
- Loneliness: Losing touch with your support network can leave you feeling alone and unsupported.
- Dependency: Without external connections, you may feel more dependent on your toxic partner, making it harder to leave. It’s the reason they always dig up something bad about others and pretend it just came up by chance.
Wrapping Up
A word is enough for the wise.
Many people have given up on their dreams due to the strain of having to deal with toxic people week in week out.
The annoying part is that the toxic people are so good at what they do that the people in these relationships will always have reason to excuse them for their behavior and continue in the black hole.
It takes a mentally and emotionally safe environment to write books and do other creative things.
Before you settle for less, I want to please request that you start removing these toxic people and patterns from your life so you can reach your full potential.
If you can’t remove them, start setting boundaries, and sticking to helpful and loving connections despite their subtle attempts to separate you from the good people and things you’re discovering.
