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Did you know that 58% of people across the globe report feeling lonely, according to a 2022 report by Cigna? Even more strikingly, most don’t realize the subtle ways loneliness manifests in their everyday lives.
The truth is, loneliness is a universal human experience. You’re not alone in feeling lonely—it’s a shared challenge that impacts mental health, relationships, and overall life satisfaction.
It can creep into your life quietly, shaping your actions and decisions without even drawing your awareness.
You may look fine on the surface, but there’s an unshakable sense of emptiness nudging you toward certain habits you don’t necessarily recognize as stemming from loneliness.
What is Loneliness?
Loneliness is more than just the absence of company. It’s a psychological state of feeling unwelcome or disconnected, sometimes even when you’re surrounded by people.
It’s a distressing gap between the relationships you have and the connections you need.
Dr. Vivek Murthy, the former U.S. Surgeon General, explained it clearly in an interview: “Loneliness is a deep sense of being excluded, as though you’re invisible, no matter how many people surround you. It’s not just a feeling—it’s a signal, much like hunger or thirst.”
And this may hit us for many reasons. But sometimes it’s because of the things you’re facing or feeling.
So these feelings when unsolved over time creates some sense of incompatibility between you and others around you making you to constantly feel alone even when you have people around you.
Loneliness vs. Solitude
It’s important to note that being alone doesn’t always translate to loneliness. I need to highlight this early on.
There is a clear difference between loneliness and solitude.
Loneliness will have many negative effects on you as it slowly eats you up on a daily basis. And you mostly have no control over this feeling as it comes at you.
But solitude is different. With solitude, you’re the one in control of the decision to reduce contact and work on yourself.
Solitude can be empowering, offering you time to recharge and self-reflect.
Conversely, you might still feel lonely in a crowded room if emotional connections are lacking.
The 10 Things You’re Doing Because You’re Lonely (Without Realizing It)
Left unchecked, loneliness can affect your mental and physical well-being. Studies link it to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Chronic loneliness has also been shown to increase the risk of heart disease, stroke, and even dementia, according to research from Brigham Young University.
Recognizing its hidden toll is the first step toward regaining emotional and physical health.
Here are 10 things you’re doing because of loneliness without realizing it.
1. Overusing Social Media
You find yourself endlessly scrolling through social media timelines, refreshing for likes, or posting frequently in search of validation.
On the surface, it may seem like a harmless way to stay entertained or connected, but overreliance on digital interactions often exacerbates feelings of loneliness.
A study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine revealed that adults who used social media heavily were more than twice as likely to report feelings of social isolation compared to those who used it less.
Like every other habit. This is easy to start but difficult to break.
When I didn’t have a smartphone, I could stay and not want social media. I created time to read and do other things.
But from the day I got it, all I every wanted to do was scroll. If you’re lonely, the urge to scroll endlessly on TikTok, Facebook, or YouTube is almost impossible to control.
But too much social media will have profound negative effects on you mental and spiritual health.
Make a conscious effort to do helpful things such as reading, community work, Church activities, and spending time with impactful people around you.
2. Overcommitting or Being Too Available
If you’re constantly saying “yes” to every invitation or overbooking your schedule, it may be a hidden sign of fearing solitude.
Being overly available can lead to feeling drained and potentially undervalued, as you place everyone else’s needs above your own.
We think that getting out will help. But then you overdo it and end up worse than when you first started. You need a balance.
Reevaluate your commitments and learn to set boundaries. Prioritize relationships and events that genuinely nurture your well-being.
3. Clinging to Toxic Relationships
This one is one of the biggest problems of our world today. I see it everywhere I turn.
Lonely people are mostly the ones finding ways to allow and remain in toxic relationships.
They don’t have a better one and they just can’t be alone so the make excuses for toxicity and remain in it.
But little do we know that we are sacrificing our identity and mental health in these toxic relationships.
Unhealthy relationships can feel less intimidating than being alone. Whether it’s an unfulfilling friendship or a toxic romantic partnership, staying in these spaces often stems from a fear of descending deeper into loneliness.
Reflect on why you’re holding on, and start setting small boundaries to reclaim your self-worth.
Therapy can also provide guidance on building healthier relationships.
Trust me, friend, if you take the bold step to cut off or reduce contact with toxic people, and start building yourself slowly, you will end up more fulfilled and very happy.
Need help with someof these toxic relationships? Read the post on 10 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone An Explanation For.
4. Excessive Shopping or Impulse Spending
Using shopping as a form of temporary emotional relief is common during lonely moments.
The rush of buying something new can mimic joy, but that satisfaction fades quickly, often leaving regret in its wake.
Practice mindful spending. Otherwise you may end up broke.
Explore alternative ways of self-soothing, like taking a walk, painting, or calling a friend.
5. Overeating or Undereating
This one’s for me too. I tend to overeat when I’m lonely or stressed.
Loneliness often changes your relationship with food. You might eat mindlessly for comfort, reaching for snacks out of boredom or sadness.
On the other hand, some people lose interest in eating altogether when isolation dims their appetite.
I know a sister. I won’t mention names.
What to Do: Maintain a structured meal schedule and pay attention to mindfulness eating practices. If emotional eating becomes overwhelming, consider reaching out to a nutritionist or therapist for support.
Overall, try to tackle the root cause of loneliness.
6. Binge-Watching TV or Streaming Content
Media distractions can offer temporary companionship in moments of loneliness.
It’s easy to turn a single episode into an all-day marathon, filling the void with fictional characters instead of real-world connections.
Restricting yourself to one spot for hours everyday will bring serious mental and physical side effects over time.
Balance your screen time with offline activities or hobbies, like gardening, exercising, or meeting a friend for coffee.
7. Oversharing Personal Information
Do you ever find yourself telling a new coworker about a deeply personal story or sharing too much with a stranger?
This impulse often arises from a need for quick intimacy, even if it’s misplaced. A lot of people do this without realizing it.
Commit to slowing down and building trust over time. Journaling your emotions privately may also help curb the urge to overshare.
Unfortunately, most people hate writing and reading. But these are some of the most rewarding habits anyone could have.
8. Seeking Validation Through Work or Accomplishments
If loneliness has crept into your life, you might throw yourself into work or projects so you can hear praise and feel purposeful.
While achievement is rewarding, relying on external validation can eventually feel hollow.
Set clear boundaries for work hours and carve out time for personal hobbies and relationships. Work to foster self-compassion and inner validation.
9. Avoiding Social Interaction Altogether
Loneliness can paradoxically push you further into isolation, making you turn down invitations or avoid interacting with others out of fear of rejection.
Start small. Accept an invite from a trusted friend, attend a short event, or even leave your house for a solo walk in a public space to ease into social settings.
10. Doubting Your Worth or Comparing Yourself to Others
When loneliness takes root, it often feeds self-doubt and encourages negative self-talk. You might find yourself comparing your life to others, convincing yourself that you’re somehow “less than.”
Practice gratitude daily.
Shift your focus inward and celebrate your own progress rather than comparing it to others.
Celebrate your own progress rather than comparing it to others.
Understanding the Root Cause
Loneliness itself isn’t a failure or a flaw—it’s simply a message from your mind and heart that connection is missing.
Take time to reflect on what has led to this feeling. Did a recent move, breakup, or major life transition leave you feeling unmoored?
Sometimes the cause of this feeling may not be something you can separate from. In such cases, one of the best things you can do to help yourself is self-enlightenment.
Learn about life and relationships. Don’t use learning as a distraction. Learn in order to get better as a human being, reach your goals, do what you love, and make impact in life.
Identifying the root causes can help you approach loneliness with compassion.
Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals to share your experience. But keep away from toxic ones. Trust me you’re better off lonely than to have toxic friends. You will only get worse over time.
Many people don’t realize that toxic relationships further isolate you. Toxic people have a way of making you see others as evil so you only have to rely on them and find ways to cope with their toxic patterns.
And it may be too late into your life before you realize how many years you wasted learning and reflecting toxic patterns just to survive in the toxic spaces you found yourself.
So get out and build yourself now that you still have time.
How to Combat Loneliness
Let’s go over a few tips that can help you combat loneliness. Remember, this is not a complete solution. You’ll need progressive learning to beat this problem properly.
Practical Steps for Reconnection
- Join a Community: Whether it’s a local book club or yoga class, immersing yourself in group activities can create opportunities for bonds.
- Volunteer: Helping others not only combats loneliness but also cultivates purpose and gratitude.
- Reach Out: Text an old friend, schedule a call, or simply start new conversations with people around you.
Prioritize Self-Care
- Explore mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga to reconnect with your inner self.
- Engage in physical exercise, as it boosts mood through endorphins. Even a simple daily walk can help.
Professional Help
Sometimes, loneliness can feel too overwhelming to tackle alone. Speaking to a licensed therapist or counselor can help you process your emotions and develop practical strategies to overcome this challenge.
Conclusion: Awareness Is the First Step
Loneliness touches nearly everyone at some point in their lives. Though its signs can be subtle, becoming aware of how it may be influencing your behavior allows you to reclaim control and chart a course toward deeper connections.
Remember—loneliness is not permanent. By taking small yet intentional steps, you can replace it with feelings of joy, connection, and purpose.
Real companionship begins by reconnecting with the most important relationship you’ll ever have: the one with yourself — your purpose and identity.
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” – Paul Tillich
